I have a theory that there's a conspiracy in the world of women's business fashion: To keep us forever shopping in hope, they leave us less than satisfied with an abysmally small selection of styles and colors.

Not that it's my idea of divine to have a job that requires a business casual dress code, mind you, but shopping for business clothes is a complete, utter, and absolute bitch. First off, if you don't make a lot of money to begin with, it's difficult to afford any type of somewhat stylish, well-made clothes. (Ok, skip the last part. Well-made, off the rack clothes are a myth anyway.)

Second, I wonder if it occurred to the fashion industry, that women don' t have the time or resources to dry clean all their clothes, unless they're waaaay up the corporate ladder. Truly, if we're in that world, the washing machine is our best friend. Give me cotton, rayon, and polyester blends anyday - they hold up in the dryer. Silk, wool, angora.... belong on lingerie, sheep, and bunnies. (Yeah, ok, the mental pictures of lingerie on sheep and bunnies made me giggle too.)

Third, who the hell decided that women really want to wear short skirts in the winter, in an office that is always freezing year round? Please God, make the clothes warmer! There's absolutely no point to wearing a cute, stylish outfit to the office in the middle of winter, when you're going to cover it up with a blanket and sweater while turning on the space heater in your office because fashion decided that summer-weight material works for winter. Winter = cold, ergo, I'm going to need some heavier cloth in my clothing.

Fourth - black, tan, vanilla, gray. Black, tan, vanilla, gray. Does winter mean that we bury all our colored clothing until spring? Are they like perennials that go into hibernation during the winter months? The weather's already darker and gloomier, let's not assist it. I say bring out the brights! Let the jewel-tones, pastels, corals, aquas, fuschias, and rainbows shimmer! Think about it - you're probably already sitting in a dull, monotone, beige-schemed office with fluorescent tube lights. Trust me, there's nothing appealing to the eye beyond whatever desktop picture you've saved to your computer.

There's a market out there waiting for someone to catch on to the idea that if women have to conform to a dress code, they want clothes that are washable, moderately interesting in style, affordable (and I don't mean Neiman Marcus affordable), and that have a greater color range than the office interior decor.

Sincerely,
An irritable female shopper.